MAKING 2017 HAPPEN :: HELLO FEBRUARY

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Happy LOVE month!!

So, I was an awesome blogger last month! Yikes.

In my defense...I was a busy girl. Lots going on.

First...the not so great....

The Cowboys lost their playoff game. So sad. SO SO sad. Now it's quiet time until baseball season. I seriously think I go through a mini-depression when our season ends. I just look forward to Sunday football SO much. Ha. I probably need a more exciting life.

I am STILL struggling with Weight Watchers. I just can't get it together. And...if I am being completely honest, I haven't wanted to do what it takes to get it together. I hate that this is a battle that I have to fight. Like, WHY???!!! I hope to share more of this in the upcoming weeks. But...there is a little light at peeking through this tunnel...so it's not all bad!!

And...the HIGHLIGHTS!!!

I got to see my baby brother play hockey for A&M!! The team was in town a few weeks ago so we all went to watch. LOVE that kid!!!

I got my hair cut!! I'm still getting used to it a little shorter ... but I feel like it's totally manageable now. Before, it was a mess...and always in a bun. But the bun was too tall for getting in and out of my car. HA. Obviously, not ideal...or cute.

I just peeked at my January goals...to see how I fared. I love that I didn't set these super precise goals. I think I knew that the month was going to be crazy and gave myself some grace. AND...surprisingly, I didn't do too awful! Is it sad that 'not too awful' is my measuring stick for success?

But, I did TOTALLY rock my #tricianaeeveryday2017 challenge on Instagram. So looking forward to keeping this up!

I wanted to share my February goals. It's pretty much more of the same... cultivating better all around habits.... but I also have a few specific things I'd like to make happen this month.

MAKING FEBRUARY HAPPEN

1. Cultivate daily healthy habits. I have a list of health related activities I want to check off each day- my daily steps (5k for Feb), 100oz water, eating more fruits and veggies, finding and keeping a skin care routine, tracking my WW points, etc. I have a little graph and I check off each item...so it's kind of like a game. Because, I'm 10. Ha. 

2. Cultivate personal growth. Along with my healthy habits, I want to work on my potential. I love learning, but I also have a tendency to get a little (or, a lot) lazy. So this checklist includes daily reading, see more live music, work through my foreign language app and share a picture a day (#tricianaeeveryday2017) on my Instagram. 

3. Cultivate relationships. Keeping in line with the previous, I'm pushing myself to be more present in my relationships. To reach out to friends and family. To spend more time with the people I love. To step out of my comfort zone and actually interact with new people (insert scared face here).

4. Cultivate my relationship with Jesus. This is the most important for me. I think my pulling away from Jesus, even though it was unintentional, was a big part of my problem last year. I'd rather do life with Him...and that means I need to pour into that relationship. I'm reading my Bible daily (thanks to the She Reads Truth app), participating in Bible study at church, and just making prayer an essential part of my day. 

And...the fun stuff.....

5. Enjoy my Houston trip!!! Going to a mini-conference and a few weeks and I just really want to soak up every little second of it!!

6. Start the moving process. Y'all!!!! I'll be sharing more of this journey and my thoughts (as well as a home tour!) in the following months...but I'm just so excited to have new little place to call home. 

7. Simplify/Deep clean. This comes with the moving process, naturally. But...let me just say that my car and makeup bag are the two main reasons this is a goal. Shameful. 

8. See some live music!!! Just something that C and I LOVE doing, and haven't done near enough. I love a date-night centered goal!!!

9. Complete my Weight Watcher specific goals. I love seeing these on Instagram, so I did my own set. I think this is TOTALLY doable for me. With the exception of BBG. I thought I would do that in January and just struggled with it so much. I'm doing the pre-training. I thought that would be great because I'm so out of shape. HA. I need some pre-pre training. But...I'm going to try again. In fact...I'm going to do day 1 when I get done writing this. Pray for me. 

WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE :: STRUGGLES

I have wrestled with posting this for a while. And after last night's horrible weigh in (but really inspiring meeting), I've decided I just need to come clean.

Y'all, I am struggling SO much with my weight loss journey. This really isn't anything new. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. But, I have recently had success with sticking to a healthy eating/exercise plan, so it's hard to accept that I have fallen so far off track.

A little backstory, if you are new. Like I said, I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I've lost weight several times, but have always gained it (and more) back. About four years ago, I decided I had finally had enough. I took myself back to Weight Watchers and gave it my all. And surprise! It worked. I lost about FORTY pounds and was feeling amazing. I still had quite a bit to lose, but I felt like, for the first time in my life, THIS was going to be the time. I had pretty much cut sugar out of my diet. I walked almost daily. And, I wrote down everything I ate. 

And then, my dad got sick. I stopped losing.

And then, he got worse. I started gaining.

And then, he lost his battle with cancer. 

I gained all of it back. Plus 25 pounds. Not good. 

I finally rejoined WW after some time off. And... I managed to get about 38 pounds off by this spring. It was a slow process. And I wasn't nearly as dedicated as I was in the past. But I was plugging along. 

Nothing major happened this time around, but I just lost focus over the summer. I quit tracking. We started eating out more than normal and I started ordering less salads and more meals with french fries. And, the weight loss turned into small gains. And then bigger ones. 

One thing I have learned over the years is that I am CLEARLY an emotional eater. If I am happy, or sad, or stressed, or angry, or lonely, I am drawn to food. Sometimes it's healthy (yogurt, an apple and peanut butter) but mostly it's not. The problem is...it's never based out of hunger. I wish I knew why I was like this. And how to quickly fix the issue. But I am finally able to admit that it is a problem. 

Especially now. I gained SIX pounds over the course of two weeks. I don't even know how I did that. Well, I mean, I do know how I did it. I'm just so frustrated that it happened. Fortunately, the meeting after my weigh in was JUST what I needed. Several people joined and ALL of them were returning to Weight Watchers after having had major success in the past. It showed me a lot of things. The program works. Three of the new girls had lost over a hundred pounds each!!! That is amazing. Everyone stumbles. Life gets hard and messy and this gets pushed to the bottom of the list. It's not that I want that to happen, but it's helpful to know that I am not the only one who struggles. Because, let me just say that when you are in the middle of the mess...it feels very lonely! 

I woke up yesterday with a renewed since of motivation. My main goal this week is to track what I eat. I can't really see where I'm going wrong (I mean other than the obvious french fry indulgence) if I can't see what exactly I am eating throughout the week. I have selective memory when it comes to food. I remember the salads and chicken. Somehow the other stuff slips in the dark places (near my hips, undoubtedly). 

I know that there are people out there who make up their mind to get healthy, make the changes, and find success immediately. I am not one of those people. And, that's okay. This may take me the rest of my life (but God, please don't do that to me). I won't quit though. I want to be healthy. And confident in myself. And neither of those things are determined just by the number on the scale. They are developed over time... with each small change. Each new day.

I'll be perfectly honest and say that struggling with my weight for all these years is not a journey I would have picked for myself. But, I know there is SO much good that can come from the process. And that is part of the reason I have decided to be a bit more open about the journey (including the bad). It's a little scary to put myself out there. I'm normally hiding behind the shame of the struggle. But I don't want to hide anymore. I hope that anyone who is struggling can find inspiration here. You aren't alone. Let's do this together!!!

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LET'S TALK :: WEIGHT LOSS

Oh y'all. So many struggles. I haven't talked about my weight loss much lately. There is not much exciting to share. And, I'm embarrassed by that. The last year has basically been a year of maintenance. Which is great...if I was at goal. But I'm not....I'm not even close. In fact, I have gained 10 pounds since February. I had was down 36 pounds, but as of my weigh in last night, I am at 26 pounds lost.

And I do realize those are 26 pounds that should be celebrated. And I know people will say not be too hard on myself. To give myself grace. To keep on keepin' on. And all of those sentiments are absolutely valid. But, if I'm being COMPLETELY honest...I think being easy on myself and giving myself the okay to mess up (even when I know better) is precisely the reason I'm struggling so much. And I've got to find a happy medium. I need to find a place where I can enjoy life but also be the healthiest me I can be.

I saw this quote earlier by Steve Maraboli and I felt like he was talking to ME!! If you've read here anytime at all, you'll know that dreaming big dreams is NOT an issue for me. I am constantly adding to my bucket list. I just seem to have a much easier time dreaming than doing (#lazy). But y'all? I'm ready to start accomplishing some stuff.

So, I'm just checking in to say that I'm going to start doing more. I'm going to hold myself accountable to this dream (and all the others) ....because I worth it!

WEIGH IN UPDATE

I haven't been doing very well with updating on my weight loss.

Which isn't too big of a surprise....

Because, I also haven't been doing very well with my weight loss.

I'm SERIOUSLY on the struggle bus. Going in circles. Gain/lose/gain/lose. And on and on.

I missed my meeting Tuesday night...mostly because I just couldn't get motivated to go. Because I knew this was a "gain" week. I did go to a weigh in at another location Wednesday. And I did gain. One pound. So I'm currently at - 30.8 . I was SO close to -35 pounds in MAY (MAY!!!) and since then I've just been floundering.

Super frustrating.

I have a lot of thoughts about my current struggles. But, I'm still trying to work through them.

I just wanted to update for anyone who may still be checking in here.

Hopefully next week will bring better results!!

MID MONTH CONFESSIONS

I wasn't going to post today, but I can't miss out on a good confessions post.

I mean, that is sort of what this blog is all about anyway...right? :)

So, without further ado...

1. OMG. I am SO excited about football season. After a brief temper tantrum, Dez Bryant signed a long term deal with the Cowboys (WOOT WOOT). So we can all breath a sigh of relief and get to work planning our SuperBowl Sunday plans....as well as the celebratory parade that follows our win. Yes? YES!

2. I weighed in last night. I lost POINT FOUR. Over it. Such a struggle here lately. I blogged about my consistent (key word) lack of motivation last week. It's pretty bad. I will be ON FIRE one day. And then done with anything healthy for two or three days. If you are keeping count...this approach does nothing for the number on the scale. I am currently waiting on C to get home though...going to go for a walk. It's only 97 degrees outside. Also, when did 97 become acceptable? I mean, it's better than 100+ degree days....so I suppose Texas summers will mess your with mind.

3. I last minute changed venues for C's party. They bar/restaurant we had initially booked....booked a heavy metal cover band to perform that night. Um, NO. I mean, I love a good 80's/early 90's hair band as much as the next girl...but heavy metal? Yeah, no thanks. So, we just happened to stumble upon this other place down the street that a friend is playing at. YAY!! Of course, I changing all of your plans for a party less than a month before said party? SUPER stressful. Thankfully, my procrastination covered the invites too, as they have yet to be sent out. So...I'm last minute rushing to get them all sent out tomorrow. Yikes.

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4. I think I'm ready to quit drinking coke. Did I just say that? I usually wake up CRAVING it.  But, here lately...it's not hitting the spot. I think because it is so hot outside, my body just craves water (imagine that). So...I am really, really going to try and cut back...and eventually...cut out. Of course, I'm having a mini panic attack just typing that.

5. Speaking of quitting. We are finally getting ready to cancel cable. We have been talking about it forever...but keep putting it off. Then I had a reader email me the other day that NCIS is on Netflix now (YAY!)...so that was the final push. The only real shows I watch are Big Brother and Pretty Little Liars. But, then again...it's off season. I'm not sure what we will do when all the shows (Scandal, Big Bang, Modern Family, Madame Secretary, etc) come back on this fall. Not to mention...ALL THE FOOTBALL. Maybe it will just be a temporary break from cable. LOL

What's going on with y'all?

WEIGHT LOSS UPDATE

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It has been a while since my last Weigh In Wednesday post. I thought I would do a little update on my journey.

I'm basically right where I was the last time I updated. I got to 34.8 pounds lost on June 2. Since then, I've gained a lost the same 2ish pounds. Right now, I'm on a gain...and I'm sitting at 32.2 pounds lost.

It's super frustrating. Not just because I'm not losing (though that is incredibly frustrating), but because I know that I am the reason why. I can't seem to get or stay motivated with tracking my points/cooking healthy at home/exercising/cutting out unnecessary "treats". I'll do okay for a meal or day or even a couple of days, but then I lose my mind. At this point, I'm just grateful that the gains haven't been more than they are.

Last week I decided to really try and focus on tracking. I'm sort of control freak in that I want to track exactly what the points are. If I don't know...I feel like guessing is "wrong". I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone else. But, somehow...in my mind...not tracking is better than guessing and being wrong. I realize this is complete nonsense. Nobody has ever accused me of having a sane outlook on weight loss. HA.

So anyway, I have started tracking again...pretty regularly. I'm actually quite proud because I started last Friday...the first of a 3 day holiday weekend with C. He's rarely off work a full two days on the weekend...and he was off all three days last weekend. We celebrated by EATING ALL THE FOODS. But, I tracked everything. It was a big eye opener. 

I've always been very honest that eating out makes it VERY hard for me to lose weight. I don't order the worst thing on the menu...and half the time I share something with C. But...something (maybe sodium or sugar?) causes me to gain. I also think that when we eat out...I am hungry sooner. Possibly because we share? I don't know. Bottom line, I know eating out is a tricky game that I need to reign in.

I've also started walking again. It's so hot here, but it's manageable if we go later in the evening. I've also been doing the treadmill thing, which I despise. I pray every single time I'm on the treadmill that my heart would be softened to it...and that I would crave time on it. So far...no success. Ha.

Anyway...I've been in these slumps before, and it's here that I usually give up. I'm happy to report that is not the case this time. I'm just working through it. I'm excited for the scale to start dropping again. I've got a long (long) journey ahead of me. But, even on the hardest days, I am motivated by the fact that I've lost nearly 35 pounds. That's a lot. The other day, in the gym, I saw that they had 35lb dumbells. So I picked one up. I didn't expect to be as heavy as it was...and I actually had to use both hands to pick it up/maneuver it out of the rack. I just stood there and held it for a second. It's CRAZY to think that last summer I was carrying that weight on my body all day everyday.

Makes me excited to drop the next 35 pounds!!!  

WEIGH WEDNESDAY :: THURSDAY EDITION

I totally forgot to blog about my weigh in yesterday! Oops.

Well, the good news is... I lost 1.4.  The bad news is... I'm still .2 away from 35!! I feel like it's the number that has eluded me the most on this journey.

So, I'm at 34.8 pounds down. That's pretty exciting. My next major goal is to lose 50 pounds. It's SO motivating to think that is only about 15 pounds away. 15 pounds seems completely attainable, right?!!! I'd love to reach that goal before the end of summer.

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

I lost 0.6 lbs this past week. That's six tenths of a pound. Last week, I lost 0.4. So that is a pound in the last two weeks. I'm at 33.4 pounds lost. Super close to the 35 pound lost mark...which is exciting. I'm a little frustrated at how slow it's taking. But, I'm also the reason it's going so slow. 

I'm struggling with tracking and activity. So you know...basically the two main components to weight loss. Ha. We have been eating out a lot. I'm honestly not all that sure how I've managed to lose (albeit slowly) the last few weeks. I do drink a ton of water...and I think that is the main thing that is saving me right now.

It's rained like crazy here (North Texas)....so outside activity is tricky. We were walking almost everyday before my dad got injured. And since then, it seems like it is raining or about to rain when we are ready to walk. I could go to the gym, but I always seem to find an excuse.

In one breath, I say how important losing this weight is for me. For health and vanity reasons. And, in nearly the same breath, I'm talking about how I hate to track my food and work out in the gym. Clearly, my priorities are messed up.

I set a goal to get all "greens" with my Fitbit app. I'm going to go ahead and spoil that for y'all. I've failed. I'm going to keep trying though. And, I'm challenging myself to track what I eat...because I think I am more likely to stay on plan when I see the actual points of what I'm consuming. 

My goal next week is to hit the 35 pounds lost mark. Totally attainable...if I will just stick to my plan!!

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

Another Wednesday, another weigh in.

I woke up Tuesday morning and immediately weighed (at home) per my daily ritual. It had me at super low (for me, right now anyway) number. I weighed a couple more times...just to double check. Ha. Not sure what that says about my confidence in that number.

I ate out A LOT last week/weekend. Seriously. Every night starting Tuesday night. And every meal over the three day weekend (except breakfasts...which I didn't eat at all. And Sunday dinner we finally cooked). I'm a little shocked that the scale showed a loss at home. And, while I was excited about the new low number...I was also trying to not get my hopes up in case the scale at the meeting said something totally different.

But, it was a good week. I lost 2.2 pounds this past week!!

So I'm at 31.2 lost so far. Yay!!

I didn't work out much last week and ate out so much...so I'm not sure what to think. But...I have noticed I don't eat AS MUCH when I eat. Lots of salads or grilled chicken. I'm also not snacking as much. So maybe that is helping me out. Either way, I need to get back to tracking my points...if anything, that helps me to not overeat. 

Plugging right along. I've got my eye on the 50 lb mark. That's my next big goal. Secretly hoping to hit it before my brother's high school graduation in June. I would need to lose 2 pounds every week to do that. So, we'll see. 

I get so discouraged with how far I still have to go. I mean it's sad, but 30 pounds is a drop in the bucket compared to what I need to lose. I was expressing this to C...and he reminded me that 30 pounds is a lot of weight. My niece weighs about 30 pounds...and I can barely lift her. I certainly can't hold her for very long. It's crazy to think I was carrying that around all day everyday this time last year!

HAPPY APRIL

It finally feels like spring around here. I'm not sure how I feel about that...as I dread Texas summers. I guess I'll try and enjoy the beautiful blooms and not-too-hot weather as long as it lasts.

Once again, I didn't get much marked off my monthly goals. March was a difficult month...and unlike other months, it seemed to drag on. Hopefully this month will be different!

MARCH GOALS

:: work out 15 times
:: hit the 35 pounds lost mark
:: refinish buffet & dining room chairs
:: get new clothes for Vegas trip (I need new clothes in the worst way!!)
:: go to eye doctor and get new glasses & contacts
:: get new phones
:: go to church every Sunday
:: finish (and win!) the diet bet I started in Feb.
:: daily exercises
:: new makeup!!!
:: get the ball rolling with school stuff
:: color hair
:: blog 10 times
:: read 9 books (eek)
:: read Bible regularly
:: work on budget (ongoing)
:: cards calender (send!)
:: make bracelet
:: go to WW meeting EVERY Tuesday
:: wash Jeep (seriously)
:: start organizing my pictures
:: go to VEGAS (end of month)

I didn't quite hit the 35lb lost mark. I forgot to do my Weigh In Wednesday post yesterday, but I lost .8 which put me at 29 pounds down. While I'm grateful for the loss, it was pretty anti-climatic. I'm looking forward to (finally) hitting the THIRTY! pound mark next week!! Fingers crossed.

We had to postpone our Vegas trip. Hopefully we will be able to go this fall.
I feel like a few of those things (umm the dining room chairs and buffet as well as cleaning my Jeep) may never get done!! But I have the best intentions every month. Ha.

I am going to try and do things a little different this month...to see if I can't be more successful with my goals.

Read the Bible regularly. I downloaded the She Reads Truth app, and I think I'm going to do the Bible in a year plan.
Work out at least 4x a week. I've been doing pretty good about walking. I just want to stick with this!
Go to my Weight Watcher meeting every week. I consistently do better when I go for my weigh in and stay for the meeting.
Hit the 35 pound lost mark. I'll need to lose 6 pounds this month to hit this goal. Completely do-able.
Read 5 books. I'm in a reading zone right now. Loving Beverly Lewis (Amish) books.
Blog 5 times. I blogged 4x last month. I can do it!! Ha.
Take a picture a day. I missed yesterday (naturally). But I've been wanting to do this for a while and now that we have new phones...I don't have an excuse not to.
Start planning C's birthday. It will be here before I know it!! Lots of ideas already!
Budgeting (continued). Didn't do so good in March with the budget. Thinking of rereading some Dave Ramsey to get in the right frame of mind.
Make weekly goals (and you know, DO them). Hoping this will help me be a bit more focused (and accomplished) this month. We'll see how it goes!

Keeping things pretty simple this month. Here's to a happy and blessed April!

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

Happy Wednesday Y'all!!!

I had my weigh in/meeting last night...and I was pretty pumped about going. I weigh at home everyday...so I knew I was going to have a loss. In the past, there have been some discrepancies between my scale and the one at the meeting...but last night they were pretty close.

I lost 3.4 for a total of 28.2.

YAY!!!

Last week, I was so close to the 25 pounds lost mark...and now, I'm close to 30 pounds lost. I could get used to those kind of results!! Ha.

I do feel like the more I lose, the more motivation/momentum I have. I'm hoping I don't lose it all on vacation!!

Happy Friday (BARELY!)

It's actually about 11:45 on Friday night...so this may technically be a Happy Saturday! post by the time it's published.

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Um, nowhere and nothing.

Yay!!

So, random updates it is!

We FINALLY got new phones. My sad little 4s was really giving me struggles. It was a great phone though...and I was being nostalgic (and cheap!) about getting a new one. But, I was getting to where I couldn't send texts unless I rebooted my phone. That's not that big of a deal....if your power button works...which, mine did not. So I would have to run down the battery to make it turn off. Kind of a whippin'. The other night it sat on 1% for almost an hour!!! C and I watched youtube videos. We looked and Instagram and Facebook. We called my mom. Still hanging out with that last little 1% of the battery. I wish the first 99% had that kind of longevity!!

Anyway I got the 6 and C got the 6 Plus. I opted to get more memory (and be able to actually hold my phone) instead of getting the plus. The good news is we are super fancy now (kidding) and our payments stayed the same. Yay!!

And...we got gift cards when we updated our phones (double yay!) so we ended up getting our cases for free!! WINNING!!

C got a boring case but I got this cute one!!

bestbuy

What else? BOTH of our vehicles broke down this week. That was all kinds of fun. We are in just about the same boat with our vehicles as we were with our phones. I don't think we are going to be getting super nice upgrades for the same price in the new vehicle department though. Ugh. I do think we will have to break down and get a new(er) vehicle for one of soon though. C has an old work truck and we are about to have invested more in it that 1) we paid for it and 2) it's worth.

The rescue group we are volunteering for (a cat rescue group) is leaving the location we have been volunteering at. I'm SO sad. We were really enjoying our time with the little bitties. I thought it would sort of give me a cat fix until we are ready (and by "we" I mean "Charlie" cause I'm ALWAYS ready to adopt ALL the kitties) to adopt again. We will have to find another group to volunteer for.

one of the rescue cats. look at her heart nose!

We leave for Vegas in a little over a week. I have a to-do list about a mile long...and the only thing I've scratched off is buying new phones...and that was just like 4 hours ago.

OH...and finally...just a small update on my weight loss since I have missed the last two Weigh In Wednesday's. I'm at 24.8 pounds lost. Gave major stink-eye to the scale on Tuesday when it didn't hit the 25 pounds lost mark. Oh well...I guess it will happen eventually!

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

I went to my meeting last night...not really sure what to expect. My scales at home seem to be anything but consistent...and my weight can fluctuate up to 5 pounds a day. I just kind of said a prayer before I left for my weigh in. 

It must have worked! I lost 1.6 for a total of 23. My scale at home has me down to 25 pounds lost (or 27 on a good day) but...WW is my "official" scale so we will just go with that.

A couple of years ago, I lost almost 40 pounds at Weight Watchers. And then I hit a really rough patch in my life and gained it all back..plus about 25 pounds. While it's super depressing to admit, I am excited that most of that "extra" weight is almost gone. I still have such a long (LONG) road ahead of me, but I feel like I'm finally getting some footing. 

How are y'all?

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

I didn't go to my meeting last night. I just wasn't "feeling" it. (par for the course here lately).

We went out to Babe's for Valentine's Day lunch. It's a family style (all you can eat) Southern food heaven. We shared chicken but then I had enough potatoes/corn/green beans to make me hate myself. 

We also ate out A LOT last week. I tried to make healthy choices...but I think I lost discipline as the week ended. 

Anyway, I got up super early (for me) on Tuesday...thanks in part to my annoying neighbor. I couldn't go back to sleep so I went and ran some errands and was feeling SUPER productive. Until about 11am. CRASHED. I woke up around 2:30 starving....so I had some left over turkey chili. And managed to weigh about about 6 pounds heavier than I did the day before. How?! I couldn't face THAT number on the scale...so I opted to not go to the meeting.

I was feeling super guilty about that this morning, so I went to a meeting at a different location this afternoon. I lost......2 tenths of a pound. HAHAHA. Hey...I guess I should celebrate the loss, right?!

So, I did lose. That's good. But, again, I can't help but ask myself how things would be different if I was REALLY trying. I'm being completely transparent when I tell y'all that I'm not. I may be giving it 30%. I think the recent losses have come from working out more. But, I know from experience that that "success" will taper off. To lose weight I have to eat better AND work out. I will have limited, slow success with eating okay. And brief surge of success with exercising. But, crazy as it is...the two done together seem to be "magic".

You'd think I'd learn. 

You'd think.

WEIGH IN THURSDAY

Y'all I have been feeling SO out of sorts here lately. I can not seem to get organized!!! So weigh in Wednesday is happening on Thursday this week!

I had a really good weigh in Tuesday night. I lost 2.4 for a total of 21.2 pounds lost!!! I am SO excited to (officially) cross over that 20 pound mark. 

I'm still a little frustrated due to the several pound difference between the scales at home and at my meeting. The scales at home have me down almost 35 pounds....so I'm not sure what is going on. I do go to a meeting that is in a church, so the scales get moved every week before/after the meeting. I'm not sure how often they are calibrated. I did hear them say that they would be getting calibrated soon...so that's good. Of course, my scales at home may be the problem. 

Anyway, I'm working out a lot more. Trying to walk every day or at least every other day. We are also still doing our "daily exercises". I'm kind of shocked we have stuck with them this long. It's SO out of character for us (ha!). Basically every day in January we did a 10 second plank, 10 push-ups, 10 crunches (C does full sit-ups, and I just do crunches) and 10 leg lifts on each side. Then, in February, we bumped it up to 20. March will be 30, April 40 and so on. I can tell a HUGE difference in my shoulders/biceps. I just do the modified push-ups, but they seem to be doing amazing things for me. I am having to push up quite a bit of weight though, so there is that.

We are going to Vegas at the end of next month...so there is an added motivation for me to stay active and lose as much as I can. I've been to Vegas once before and it was A LOT of walking. It would be super nice if I could not have to carry around 15-20 of the pounds I'm carrying around right now.

We'll see!

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

Happy Wednesday y'all!

I have a bad habit of weighing (at home) several times a day. I know they say it's not good for you mentally, but I do it so often that I don't think it affects me that much. However... yesterday's weigh in might challenge that!

I weighed at home right before leaving for my meeting and it had me down almost 6 pounds!! I was REALLY excited to go to my weigh in!!! Ha. So imagine my shock when I get on the scale at the meeting and it only registers a 2 pound loss!! Now, normally, I would be jumping up and down over that loss, but I was devastated that I didn't hit the weight loss total I thought I would be.

Anyway, I AM down another 2 pounds. Which puts me at 18.8 pounds lost...and the "lowest" I've been since I started this round at WW.

I am trying to be more active and track my points. Neither of these things is all that difficult to do. I mean,  it's not like I'm doing something crazy like CrossFit or running marathons. No. I'm just trying to walk 30 - 45 minutes a day. I have the hardest time MAKING myself do it. And tracking is the key component of WW but I struggle with this most of all. It takes a little time. And you have to measure everything so that you know you are tracking the right amount of points per serving. Once you get in the habit of doing it, it does seem to go a little quicker. But...it's that getting in the habit thing I'm struggling with!! Haha.

Anyway... yesterday's scale frustrations did little to stop the habitual weighing. In fact, I weighed this morning and was down another couple of pounds since yesterday. Either my home scale is malfunctioning, playing some cruel tricks on me... or maybe (hopefully) showing the actual progress. Either way...the scale(s) are finally going down and that is exciting!!

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

Happy Wednesday y'all!

So, first things first... I went to WW last night. I really wasn't sure what to expect. At home, my weight has fluctuated up and down (mostly up) since Christmas. I hadn't been to a weigh in since 12/30...so I was just preparing myself for a gain. And I did. 0.7 pounds. I suppose that is way better than it could have been.

Obviously (begin broken record part of blog post here) it could have been a lot better. In 3 weeks I could have lost 7 pounds instead of gaining .7.  BUT...I am getting out of this exactly what I'm putting in to it.

I don't want to dwell on the same ole things. I feel like every week that I gain (or don't go to my meeting) is a similar post. So, moving on.

I carry a lot of my weight in my belly. And that is the last place it seems to go from when I'm losing. Typically I lose weight in my face, chest and fingers (HA!) first. So, I started reading a bunch of stuff on how to lose belly fat. Clearly you can't just tell your body where you would like it to lose fat. Wouldn't that be nice though?! And I know you can't spot train away all your issues. I know no amount of sit ups and/or crunches is going to be sufficient to lose the flab. BUT...I did find some interesting stuff.

1. Cardio. I need to be doing more. Duh, right?! But almost everything I read said you should be doing a minimum of 30 minutes of "intense" cardio 6 (SIX!!!) days a week. Basically I need to be sweating more. My little 20 minute walks (though they still kick my out of shape bootie) aren't going to cut it for fat loss (especially belly fat loss). This depresses me to no end. Ha.

2. Stress. Apparently stress gives you belly fat. Lovely. I need to figure out how to deal with all the worrying I'm doing. I think working out more will actually help that. Of course I'm stressing out about working out more...so I don't know.

3. Sleep. I've talked about this a ton...but my sleep habits are AWFUL. I may sleep 3 hours one night and 10 the next. This is something I've been wanting to work on for a while...and I just need to work harder at getting on a schedule.

I saw a girl on Instagram the other day who sets alarms for herself at night. Like when the first alarm goes off she turns off the television or computer, she gets off her phone, she sets the coffee maker, etc. Then when the second alarm goes off 15 minutes later, she washes her face, brushes her teeth and does all her nightly routine things. Then, when the third alarm goes off 15 minutes after that, she gets in bed. I LOVE this idea. I know you'd think I could just do this all on my own...but you'd be wrong. I think I'm going to try and implement this into my nights...see if it makes a difference.

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I know that these three things will help with my overall health and weight loss. It's an added bonus if they help whittle down my waist! I spend a lot of time obsessing over all the things I want to change about myself and my life, but if I'm being honest...I rarely make any behavioral changes in order to achieve these goals. Something has to change in order for me to change, right?!

I hope y'all are having a great week.

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

So.

It's Wednesday. Which means I should be sharing my weigh in results.  Especially since I didn't go to my meeting (or share my results) LAST WEEK.

Except.... I didn't go to my meeting (again) last night. Not starting off this year with the dedication I had hoped for. Geesh.

To be fair, there were several reasons (um, excuses) that I stayed home last night. I didn't feel good. I took a nap (seriously...like a 4 hour nap!! which, I promise I never do) C worked late (we normally go out for a salad together after my weigh in). And, of course... the number one reason I talked myself out of going...I knew I had gained.

Nothing too drastic. I've gained maybe a pound since I hit the 18.3 pound mark at the end of December. So it's not like I'm freaking out over that pound. I am, however, freaking out over the fact that I seem to have lost my motivation. Easy come, easy go. Right?

I had errands to run earlier today, so I got lunch out. This is a bad, bad habit...that even my taste buds are sick of (that's how you know you eat out too much...when nowhere sounds good). And I just couldn't help but think how hard I am making this on myself. I mean really. Losing weight...the actual process is REALLY simple. I KNOW what to do. I KNOW how to do it. I KNOW I am capable of doing it. I also KNOW that it works when I do it.

The problem? Me. My emotions. My laziness. I feel like this is a broken record type blog post. I am sure it would take about 2 seconds to find a few other posts that mimic these exact sentiments. But... that just proves that this is my real issue.

So, I cam home, I reset my WW password (cause I haven't logged on in so long that I forgot it). And I tracked my insanely high point lunch.

Then, I thought about something I read on Facebook the other day. It was a post by one of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster. You can read the post I'm talking about here. Basically, she repeats what I've read several times over and what I've known for years. You've got to get down to the root of the issues.

I mean, yes, I know WHAT to do to lose weight. I could probably write a book on it. BUT...what I don't know is WHY I DON'T DO IT. I used to think it was just because I liked chocolate and peanut butter....especially together. But the older I get, I feel like there is more to it than that.

I don't have any deep dark secrets in my closet like some people you read about (that have to tackle those demons before they can lose weight). But clearly, there is some road block here that is a lot more profound than my love of all things carbohydrates.

So, I'm going to work really hard on just doing what I need to do (tracking my points, getting in my healthy checks, and trying to be more active). But, I'm also going to be doing some soul searching...which if I'm being honest...I hate to do.

And, I'm going to go to my weigh in next week. Because, if there is one thing I know... avoiding your problems rarely makes them better.

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY / MISC RAMBLES

Y'all. I kind of dropped the ball on blogging in December. Oops. I just spent time working and getting ready for the holidays. This is actually the first time I am turning on my computer since before Christmas. Crazy!

I did want to check in with my final weigh in of 2014. I lost 3 pounds (over Christmas even!) and hit the 18.2 pounds lost mark.

I know that I could have lost so much more this year if I would have just got serious. In fact, it does upset me how many weeks (err, months) I let go by without even really trying. BUT, the good news is that I did buckle down these last few weeks and have managed to lose pretty consistently. I am SO looking forward to all the changes I can make in 2015. It's super motivating to think that I could get to my goal weight in 2015!!

Speaking of goals... y'all know I love them. So, New Year's Resolutions are maybe my favorite thing. I just love the fresh clean slate of a new year. It's like the first page of a new book. What you write is totally up to  you! C and I have been talking a lot about what we want to accomplish this next year. Lots of the classics like saving money and getting healthy. But, we also want to throw in some other fun things...like travel and home buying and having a baby. Ha. I'll be sharing more about those (and my January goals) in a separate post.

As for my December goals, I didn't get as much marked off as I wanted, but I'm okay with that! I had a great month and enjoyed almost every bit of it.

1. Work out 10 times NOT EVEN CLOSE. HA!

2. Hit the 20 lb lost mark! SO CLOSE!!!

3. Finish Christmas decorating

4. Finish 52/52 book challenge (5 more to go!!) SO CLOSE... only got to 49.

5. Color my hair (FOR THE LOVE!!)

6. Hang curtains... if they ever ship!

7. Continue working on budget (I need to buckle down)

8. Set up cleaning schedule

9. Unpack 5 NON Christmas boxes :) 

10. Finish 100 Happy Days photos on Insta KIND OF ABANDONED THIS. OOPS
11. Refinish buffet and dining room chairs 
12. Get accepted into certification program (STILL playing the waiting game right now)
13. Finish Christmas shopping early (no waiting until last minute!!)
14. Dinner with J&E
15. Wash Jeep and clean inside (it's bad, y'all)
16. Work on 2015 goals and Resolutions
17. Watch another classic film and read a classic novel (for my 101 in 1001)
18. Finish organizing paperwork CLOSE ENOUGH TO CALL IT GOOD
19. Get a new cookbook (another of my 101 in 1001 goals).
20. Watch the Cowboys win!!!  NFC-EAST CHAMPS :) 

So, obviously not my most productive month. I ended up not completing my reading challenge for the year (52 books) and that kind of bums me out. BUT... I just didn't feel like reading this month. Spent a lot of time with C and family...and I am okay with that trade off. 

Okay, I'm off to get ready for C and I's super low key NYE celebrations. Seriously, I think we are going out to eat and MAY actually make it to midnight. We are kind of lame this year....

WEIGH IN WEDNESDAY

All throughout October, as I was writing only about weight loss, I kept thinking how freeing it would be to able to write about whatever I wanted come November.

Um... No.

Going through a bit of a boring spell right now, I guess.

Anyway, thank goodness for Wednesdays! I can share my weigh in results!! I didn't go to WW last week. The week before I gained the 1.6 that I had lost the previous week. I really wasn't sure what to expect last night!

Thankfully, I lost weight!! I actually lost 1.6 (!!!). So I'm back down to 11 pounds lost overall (at WW, anyway). I'm excited to have lost, don't get me wrong. It's just that I'm also a little frustrated in this roller coaster thing I've got going on.

But, it's my fault.

I'm not trying to throw a pity party or beat myself up. But, here is the cold, hard truth. I'm getting out of this EXACTLY what I'm putting into it. I just tried using the thesaurus for the word I want to use here (half-a**ed) and nothing quite captures that sentiment. So here's the deal: I'm getting those kind of results because I'm putting in similar effort. Plain and simple.

I mean, it's a pretty basic concept that we all sort of know. You get out of things what you put into them. Right? I mean, save for a few exceptions... that is how life works. I wont tell y'all I've given 100% on this journey. I won't even pretend to have given 75%. I have probably averaged around 50% and I think my results are proof of that.

And? Honestly? I'm not okay with this. I wish going to WW and sitting through my weigh-in and meeting were enough. I wish more than anything that WANTING to lose weight was all it took. I would be tiny! Ha. But, there is hard work involved. You have to make changes to see changes. (I'm all about the cliches today). So, I'm really challenging myself to find areas where I'm being stubborn about not making changes. And then, TACKLING them!!

This week I'm going to continue to try and track my points everyday. I think this is the best measurement of my effort. And, for whatever reason (probably because of my lack of effort) it is something that I have a hard time doing day in and day out. It's not a time thing for me (it seriously takes 2 seconds to track my food each meal) ... it's a bad habit thing. And maybe one of those stubborn things I mentioned earlier.

Hope y'all are having a great week!